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I want this pain to count for something. I don’t want to live through this trauma and not learn. Not grow. Not change. I know I will never be the same person I was before. Something this traumatic comes at a price. But there can be beauty from pain. I get to choose how this affects me. I’m still grieving. I’m still healing. I still have work to do. It will take time. But I keep taking one step at a time. Day to day it doesn’t look like much progress is being made. But if I look back and see how far I’ve come – its amazing. I am very proud of myself. I’m proud of the woman I am becoming. And I’m starting to get excited for a positive future. One that I don’t have figured out yet. And that’s ok. I have learned I can’t control life anyway – so I may as well just enjoy today, since that’s all that I truly have.

I don’t have some secret for how I’ve gotten here. I don’t have something every other betrayed spouse doesn’t. I just have the desire to not let this destroy me. I deserve nothing but the best. And only I can make that happen. I’m in charge of my destiny. My happiness. Its all about choice. I make the choice, every single day (sometimes more than once), to thrive. I make the choice to find beauty from pain.