We had therapy today. We’ve got a long road ahead of us to fully healing and reconciling. But we’ve come a long way. We look for these huge changes and gestures to gauge our healing and progress. We neglect to see the small, daily changes that are being made. We want to get from pain to healed in an instant. We just want the pain to end. We just want to feel better. So when we aren’t there, we think we haven’t made any progress. We feel that we are never going to get there. We feel hopeless. We feel like giving up.

This is all about baby steps. Taking small, manageable and consistent actions. These small steps start to add up. They build momentum. That momentum starts to build. Once that momentum is rolling, it catches speed and starts to move faster, like a train.

It makes me think of when you build a snowman. You start with one small snowball in your hand. Its nothing close to the finished product. Looks nothing like a snowman. You could just toss it aside and throw it away. Or you can continue to add to it. You can build something from it. You can take that small snowball roll it in the snow on the ground. The snow on the ground starts to attach to the snowball. It starts to build. Pretty soon you’ve got a huge ball for the base. Still doesn’t look like a snowman. Just a huge snowball on the ground. Now you’ve got to build the body. So you start again. From scratch. With a new snowball. Then rolling it on the ground. You’re feeling pretty good. You see progress. Its starting to look like something. But its not done. Yet again, you have to start a new snowball for the head. Once again you make a snowball in your hand. Once again you have to roll it on the ground. Finally, you add it to the two other mounds you’ve made. It now looks mostly like a snowman. The hard work is done. You’ve put in the hard work of rolling snow into huge balls. Stacked them one on top of each other. Now you just have to put the finishing touches on – the eyes, nose, mouth and arms.

Building the foundation was the hardest. It needed to be the biggest and most sturdy. It required the most time and energy to build correctly. You need a good foundation for the body and head. Otherwise your snowman will collapse. The body and head are important too though! The body is the keystone. It balances the weight of the head and connects it to the foundation. The head holds the eyes, nose and mouth. Each piece serves a purpose. And they must be built in specific order. There are no short cuts in building a snowman.

There are no shortcuts in healing. There are no shortcuts in marriage and relationships. You have to build a strong, sturdy foundation first. Otherwise, it simply won’t last. It will crumble. Sure, you can build the body first, with the head and foundation stacked on top, but it can’t sustain that pressure for long. It will eventually break and fall apart. You can try to build the head first. It definitely cannot sustain the body and foundation.

There are no short cuts. You have to build the foundation first. Take the time to do it right. Make sure its solid. Make sure it can support the body and head. If you do that, your snowman will be solid. Your snowman will last – well, until winter is over, but you get the idea 🙂

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