The weather was absolutely perfect this past weekend. I spent alot of time outside. My daughter and I saw our first butterfly of the year. It was beautiful.
I was reminded that butterflies don’t start their lives as beautiful creatures. They start as caterpillars – insects. Over looked. Unappreciated. Yet the caterpillar is capable of major transformation. The caterpillar wraps itself in a protective cocoon in order to change into the butterfly. Though the end result is quite extraordinary, the metamorphosis is actually quite gruesome. The caterpillar, while in its cocoon, digests itself. There isn’t much left of this insect. A few organs. Just some “soup” matter. If you were to cut open the cocoon, the caterpillar would essentially ooze out. Until the process is complete, the caterpillar stays in its protective cocoon. Once its ready, it breaks through and emerges as a beautiful butterfly. A delicate creature. One that is completely different than the caterpillar.
While I don’t consider myself an ugly caterpillar, I can still relate to this change. I hide in the darkness of the cocoon. I’ve fallen apart. I’ve ooze pain. When I’m ready and my transformation is complete, I will re-emerge. I will re-emerge a transformed woman. I will have lived through the darkness and become something even more beautiful.
healingafterhisaffair 
You just hang on, Butterfly! You are right–you will emerge from this a new creature and a strong one too, who is able to float and fly.
I also want to add that full disclosure almost NEVER comes all at once. It’s very scary. It’s motivated by both wanting to protect the spouse as well as wanting to protect oneself.
XO
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Thanks. Its a daily struggle for sure. But I know that I have the strength to get through. I agree about full disclosure. My problem is that I still don’t know if I’d had full disclosure. Too many coincidences and details still floating around that don’t add up.
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