Lindsay,

We have never met, yet you were a part of my marriage for 18 months. I know my husband invited you into our marriage, but let me be clear – you were not welcome.

Who do you think you are? What gave you the right to think that you could get involved with my husband? Yes, I know he contacted you after your initial meeting. But a 20 something gal with her shit together would have told him to fuck off. Seriously. But you aren’t that girl are you? You have to a special kind of train wreck to allow yourself to be treated as second rate. Which you were. Are you proud of yourself?

I’m not going to pretend that my husband isn’t at fault. He is. He acted like a massive piece of shit while he was involved with you. He is responsible for his own behavior. He is responsible for the pain he has caused me. He is the one who made marriage vows to me and then broke them. But you could have prevented yourself from being the other woman. You could have had a shred of self worth and human decency and told him, “You may cheat on your wife, but it won’t be with me”. Its actually not that difficult, I’ve told a few men those words. But I’m a woman with morals, dignity and self worth.

What was so attractive about a man that was actively betraying his wife? A man that was abandoning his toddler? Did the fact that he had a wife and child yet wanted to talk to you make you feel special? Did having to keep you hidden make you feel special? Did you think that while he was lying his ass off to me that he was being honest with you? Were you really that naive?

Do you even know why you? I definitely wrestled with it. I figured you HAD to have something I didn’t. You know what it was? You talked to him. That simple. He was so low he jumped at the first desperate girl that made herself available. Still feel special?

Our marriage was definitely at a very low point before he met you. He was also depressed and had given up. Its true I wasn’t fulfilling his needs. I made him feel rejected. This is what he used as fuel to justify his affair. He now understands that these are his issues and his affair with you was completely wrong nor my fault in any way. My point here is that had he either addressed these issues for himself or our marriage was better, you wouldn’t have been in his life at all.

I feel sorry for you. Its pathetic that you fell in love with a married man. That you thought destiny brought you together. That you thought you had this amazing connection. Its really sad that you thought you had some kind of future with him. Its sad that you finally chased David away because of this. I feel sorry for you that you emotionally invested in a man that didn’t want you. You were simply a means to an end. He felt like shit about himself so he used you to feel better. You were a filler. A boost to his ego.

I don’t feel sorry for any pain you are in. You brought that upon yourself.

I wanted to destroy your life and make you pay once upon a time. But that’s not me. I am better than that. I am better than you. I hope you get your life together before you play a role in destroying another marriage.

The affair you had with my husband has caused me immeasurable pain. I am still haunted by it every day. Being on the receiving end of betrayal creates deep wounds. I was cheated on by a man I gave half my life to. Hell, you are still the last woman he had sex with in San Francisco. So congrats to you. Hope it was worth it.  Yes, I was lied to. Duped. Taken advantage of. I sat at home and remained a loyal and faithful wife while he turned to you. I remained the consistent parent for our daughter. I tucked her in to bed, alone, the night you fucked my husband. I upheld my vows even though he broke them with you. And it hurts like hell.

But, even in this emotional hell I am fighting to get out of, I’d still rather be the betrayed wife. I’d still rather be me than you. I am the only one of the three of us that did the right thing when nobody was looking. I’m the one that wasn’t hurting another human being with my selfishness and ego. I am the one that wasn’t so broken that I devastated an innocent person that I’ve never met. That is your burden to carry.

M