How do the couples that stay together after an affair get to a “better relationship”? And how long does it take to get there?

I stayed with the hope and desire that we could be one of those couples. One that not only survived, but thrived – as cliché as it sounds. I hoped that we could find a way past his life altering decisions and betrayal.

Its going on five years. I don’t feel the sharp stabbing pain like I used to. Now its a dull ache. An invisible scar.

I wonder why we haven’t gotten “there” yet – that sought after land of healed. Better. A place where we’ve learned from the experience but have let it go. The promised land those other couples talk about. What have those couples got that we don’t? What made it possible for those couples? What did they do?

I know there is no easy answer. No simple formula. No path that works for every couple.

I’m just exhausted. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually. And literally, thanks to chronic sleep deprivation. There is so much more to why than his affair, but I’m too worn out to put it into words.