About

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6 thoughts on “About”

  1. Hello There! How are you doing? Must be getting close to your due date so I wanted to stop by and see how you were doing AND to let you know that I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. I know you have a lot on your hands right now so feel free to take your time if you need it to complete the requirements. I chose you because I think you are a couragious woman managing to handle not only infidelity but adding a new member to your family. It is certainly not easy dealing with so much at once but I wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you and wishing you the best. So Congratulations on the nomination (I was slow getting this notice to you I had your http wrong and needed to straighten out – when my son while camping fell into a bon fire and got 3rd degree burn on arm -so been at doctors then sent to specialist) and my apologies for not contacting you sooner. Do let me know when you have your baby. Hugs & more Hugs to you- chely

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    • I’m sincerely touched that you reached out and by what you said. Thank you. Its come at a time when I really needed it! I am sorry to hear about your son!!!! I hope he is doing well and healing quickly without a lot of pain. I can’t even imagine how scary that is.

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  2. Hi! Thanks for your words for my son . It was a worry- my God he could of fallen on his face-that would of been so much worse. Actually it looks like healing pretty well – go back dr. in 2 days.
    I’m so glad that my message came at a time that you needed it. If you ever need to just chat -i’m here (not just comment on posts) . Having someone who understands that you can reach out to (all the kind BS that i’ve come to know) have certainly been what’s kept my head above water. Have a job interview tomorrow – i’m so excited -keep fingers crossed for me. Hope your having a good day. We are survivors – not victims . hugs-to you– chely

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    • I’m glad to hear about your son!!!! Thank you so very much for your support. I know you understand how much its helps. Best of luck at your interview. I definitely have the attitude that I’m a survivor, not a victim. All things considered I’m doing well. I get very confused about which direction to take. One minute I’m convinced I should stay and fight and work on my marriage. The next I think I deserve so much better than this and just want to be alone. I told my therapist I want to push my husband off a cliff. Then rush to the bottom to catch him.

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  3. Ain’t that the absolute truth (push him off cliff- love the thought). Definetly got the cog. dis. going on at my house (probably for him as well). Through the really tough years (a few back) I often wondered why we stayed together -both were unhappy, I just figured (like me) he was holding true to our commitment. Discovering the affair/s made me realize that he wasn’t the man I thought. But these last two (almost) years has opened both of our eyes, that we have wasted A LOT OF YEARS just arguing and fighting for no real good reason. When he wanted to be in control of everything, I said fine and paid no attention to anything (bills, spending, investments etc) wouldn’t even get the mail since not for me anyway. Well turns out he isn’t as good at all the financial stuff as he thought because opportunities have slipped past because he ignored it all. NOW- we find out his company will be closing in two years and we are not in the position we should be (so he could retire instead of look for another job) and he is realizing he screwed himself and us by not being in charge or allowing me to be his partner in all of this. Work all these years, make good $$ and what do we have to show for it??? A 401K, some investments, and a house far from being paid for. It’s sad because if we had worked together we could of had it all. He admitted that he made a huge mistake and has began to gather all the info to share with me so we can get things straightened out. Not like I’m some financial wizard, but I know how to research and will figure it out. While his apology for the affair sucked, him admitting that this financial mess-up was all his fault and needs me to work with him to improve- demonstrates to me that he is serious about staying together and working to find happiness within our marriage. Sometimes the thoughts of affair stll cross my mind but i’m trying not to go there. I mean i’ve attempted to catch him still cheating for the last 2yrs, and I haven’t been able to find anything that indicates he is. So I’m looking for my happiness inside myself and then from within my marriage. I always said we had the greatest love/hate relationship. It crazy to still be in love with this man, but I am. (While he has been rotten in many ways, I do know there are WORSE out there and my luck I’d end up with one that doesn’t work) I try not to think about the past (not just affair) mistakes on both our parts and possibly the future can still hold promise. I certainly hope your future will hold promise and hope for you and your family. Anyway enough of my crap. When is your baby due?? getting close?? I hope you have good support for yourself and children (family, friends, husband??) adding a new little one can be exciting but also a lot of work. Be strong and do whatevers best FOR YOU- because you are important and deserve peace and happiness in your life. hugs to you– chely

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    • Its amazing how we can look back and see the deterioration so clearly now. I agree about letting the past go. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and done wrong by him. I’ve hurt him deeply too. Not by cheating but by keeping him at a distance and not letting him in completely.
      I’m due 8/21 but nobody thinks I’ll last that long. I had my daughter 3 weeks early so I suppose I could go any day now. My parents live in AZ and are coming to stay for 8 weeks to help out. It definitely puts a strain on life in general to have a baby, but under these conditions it downright sucks. I’m trying to take like a chunk at a time right now. My biggest issue is that my husband doesn’t show remorse well. He isn’t a very empathetic person either. He still can’t see past his own pain to really look at what he’s done to me and “get it”. He doesn’t understand how devastated I am because of our past and the way we interacted. Not saying he isn’t sorry or doesn’t have remorse. Just not in a way that computes in my world. I suppose he isn’t sorry enough or remorseful enough – for me. I think he is showing it as best he can. So I’m trying to decide if I can live with that and build a future on it. Its so confusing because I think well, he isn’t showing the remorse I’ve needed but then he’ll turn around and do something really nice for me. For instance I can’t get comfortable in bed so I’ve been sleeping on our recliner (we have a sectional that has 3 pieces that recline). Since the first night, he’s slept there with me even though he just had a vasectomy and its uncomfortable for him. I asked him why he’s doing it and he said so I won’t be alone. He does show me that he cares for me. I know that he does. It just comes back to can I move forward without seeing and feeling remorse (at least at the level I want) from him. I’m actually off to see my therapist and hopefully gain some insight.
      How’d your interview go?

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